Tuesday 26 January 2016
Storytelling and Commission - Script to Screen : New Story Idea
The
happy children goes to the
fairground and eating sweets and then If the brain surgeon change into a villain maybe his villain plan is taking his
special brain machine and steal all the sweets from the shop and children leaving them
lifeless and grey. When the brain surgeon collects the sweet and his machine will
be full up and explore like a rain of sweets and make the children will be
happy.
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Hi Dinesh,
ReplyDeleteOK... Firstly, don't forget that you need to have the fairground in the story too - at the moment you have changed the environment to a sweet shop. How about having a gobstopper dispensing machine at the fair? Like one of those penny pushing arcade machines, only it pushes sweets out instead?
Like this - http://whittakers.co.uk/#/coin-pushers/4544229286
Also, in this version that you have written, the brain surgeon is using his machine to steal sweets, which have nothing to do with brains...
So, I am thinking, the children come to the fair, win lots of gobstoppers on the machine, eat too many brightly coloured sweets, get hyper and full of energy, which the brain surgeon then 'harvests'... BUT ! - You still haven't answered the question - WHY is the villain brain surgeon collecting the energy from the children? What does he want it for?
Ooh, Jackie - that's a whizz-o idea: so, a devious brain surgeon installs a gobstopper vending machine at the fairground; children visit the fairground and consume the gobstoppers; the gobstoppers are highly addictive, so the children eat more and more - creating a huge sugar-rush that super-charges their brains! But Jackie is right, Dinesh... what does the brain-surgeon want with those super-charged brains, how does he harvest the energy... and who or what is going to stop him... It seems to me that perhaps there might be another character in your story - another child perhaps who witnesses the children going to the vending machine, or perhaps one of the fairground workers? You certainly need someone to foil this brain surgeons dastardly plan!
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